Quit a Bad Marriage?

When i was still in Butuan, i often heard comments like this, "so easy for you to surrender your marriage". Well, i hope the foregoing article, which i recently got from the e-newsletter of Bo Sanchez, will enlighten them, at least... ;)

I have to answer a difficult question today.

I received 120+ comments in my last Blog entry entitled "Quit Often To Succeed In Life". Six comments were from suffering wives who asked (my paraphrase), "Bo, can I quit my marriage? Jimboy isn't my boyfriend. He's my husband."

Here's my answer. To a married person, marriage is the purpose and the path.
So if you're talking about the ordinary problems of married life—like your hubby is cranky, insensitive, loud, disorganized, or lazy—love him anyway. These aren't marriage-breakers. Besides, if you think you don't have any faults, ask your mother to remind you what they are.
But I believe there are marriage-breakers: If your husband is physically and emotionally abusing you—get out. Or if he's on drugs—get out. Or if he's a gambling addict and can't stop, stealing, and losing everything—get out. Or if he's in adultery, get out.
I'm not saying you separate from him permanently. But by leaving him temporarily, you're telling him in no uncertain terms that the marriage can't go on if he continues to abuse you or continues to be unfaithful to you.

You're doing this to heal the marriage. Sometimes, marriage needs painful surgery. When there are marriage-breakers, your husband needs tough love.

But at the end of the day, if you've tried everything but he still persists in his sin, then he broke the marriage. Not you. Move on with your life. Either remain single, serve God, and live happy. Or seek a Legal and Church annulment if you wish to remarry.

If you're in a difficult marriage, go for counseling. Seek it out from spiritual elders and counselors in your area. You may also call our Counseling Center at Tel. (02) 7259999 or just log on at www.KerygmaFamily.com and click on "Counseling".

Let's pray…

Lord, I lift up the wife who is reading this now who is suffering in a difficult marriage. Embrace her now with your love. Heal the wounds in her heart. Lord, create a miracle and heal her marriage.
Give the abused wife the courage to give tough love.
Give the abused wife the strength to love herself.
Give the abused wife the provision to live apart from her abusive husband.
And I pray for a change in her husband's life.
I pray, if there's still that chance for conversion and transformation, to unite their marriage in love. I also pray for the children especially—be with them, hold them, heal them, and embrace them.
And I also pray for the spouse with an irreparable marriage.
I pray for strength to live life without her spouse, and still be happy with You, with her friends, and her spiritual family. Lead her to a life of love and service and happiness. I claim your promise when you said that all things—no matter how bad—will work for her good—in Jesus name, Amen.